One grain of sand on a beach that runs for miles and miles. That is the first thing that comes to mind when I think, how in the world will anyone find my little book. There are thousands upon thousands of novels, so, what will make my little book stand out among the rest? Hopefully, good reviews or maybe a good marketing plan. It’s a pretty intimidating, overwhelming, and downright scary thought that my book would get lost in an endless number of books.
That is, if I were a young writer.
When I was young all I wanted to do was make a name and career for myself. Don’t get me wrong, I would love to be successful, sell thousands of books, and yes, maybe even make some good money, but believe it or not that is not what motivates me.
Let me explain why.
When I started as a new hairdresser at twenty-five years old. I remember feeling so much pressure to accumulate a big following and successfully sell myself as a skilled hairstylist. The thought of literally changing someone’s appearance by cutting, coloring or mostly in those days perming hair was downright frightening for a new hairdresser. That person would have to literally walk around with something I did to them whether it be good or bad for at least six weeks, or more. Now that’s intimidating, overwhelming, and downright scary.
Let's talk about intimidation. I remember putting so much stock in what people thought of me. I would get so upset if I found out that a customer didn’t like something I did or, worse yet, they didn’t like me.
Let's talk about being overwhelmed. I wanted to get it right, wanted people to like my work, I would put so much pressure on myself over something that was impossible to obtain, and I wanted to be successful and make a lot of money.
And lastly, let’s talk about what scared me. In a word, failure.
That was my mindset and how I felt when I was young. How it was to feel uncertain about myself and my career. That was forty years ago.
Today I’m no longer motivated by any of these things. I think as we all grow older we become more confident, less afraid and not worried about whether we get it right or not. As I’ve gotten older, I gained wisdom and perspective. I’m no longer a prisoner to what people think of me or how successful I’ll be and how much money I’ll make. I simply don’t have time for all that. I don’t have forty more years to get it right. The only thing that motivates me is telling people my story with the hopes that they will be inspired.
So there it is, I had forty years to gain that confidence. I had forty years to make a decent living and I had forty years to learn that not everyone is going to like me. Although--I have always made it my goal to do my best for them not to dislike me. I will always strive to do my best, the rest is up to God. And with his help my little novel won’t get lost among the endless number of books.
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